Recession Briefing 5.8

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

Will the recession eventually result in the U.S. legalizing marijuana? (Gawker)

Forget about swine flu, and beware the unemployment illness. Those who have been laid off have an increased risk of developing heart disease, stroke or diabetes. (Daily Mail)

The unemployment rate is up to 8.9% in the U.S., but the rate of job loss is slowing. Employers cut 539,000 jobs in April, the fewest in six months. (Associated Press)…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Cheap Date

Twice, my friend Susan (I have changed some names and identifiers) found herself covering for a date who was short on cash. On the first date. At the end of one of them, there was even a humiliating walk to an ATM machine, where he handed her precisely his half and thanked her for a nice evening. Susan was mortified.

I would be too, and obviously so should those guys. Being cheap (or disorganized) is not unusual in the annals of dating, but it seems like some people are using the recession as cover for skimping out…

2 Ways the Recession is Good for Romance

The recession will affect relationships in different ways, and just how couples deal with economic turmoil will depend on a multitude of factors. While the prevailing tone of this roundup (of perspectives on what happens to couples as they wade through financial woes) by the editors at The New York Times is a tad negative, a few panelists shed light on positive points. Here are those that rose to the fore:

Talking through the tough times can strengthen relationships, pointed out Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington. “A bad economy can force people to take up these difficult conversations. If couples are honest and compassionate with one another, if they learn to work it out as a team, they could emerge with a better relationship,” wrote Schwartz. Difficult times spawn deep, solution-seeking discussions. It’s the act of plowing through the issues and mining for fixes together that can build intimacy, connectedness and ultimately bring couples closer together…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Recession Killed My Romance

Twenty-three years after they broke up, Lesa and Ken embarked on a new romance from different corners of the country. On a whim, Ken had entered his college sweetheart’s name into Google – and discovered Lesa was living in Portland, Oregon. He was living in Avon Park, Florida. Between the two of them, they had lived through divorce, spousal death, children and heart attack. Despite the distance, the sparks were still there.

As their relationship grew stronger over two years of visiting, talking, emailing and Skyping, they made plans to move in together – in December 2008, he was to pack up and join her in Oregon.

At the same time, the economic clouds were moving in. The job market was getting worse in a hurry. Meanwhile, Lesa’s ten years as a social worker for the state of Oregon gave her security and stability there (somewhat – Oregon’s unemployment rate is 12.5% and states are not exactly guaranteeing employment…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Is Recession Good for Sex?

According to an article in Forbes this week, the answer is yes. Writes Susan Adams, “Layoffs, furloughs and shrinking 401(k)s may not seem like natural aphrodisiacs, but according to experts in relationships and sex, the depressed financial picture is leading some couples—and singles—to better appreciate each other.”

I’m with the psychologist quoted in the article who notes that it’s way too early for empirical studies, that it takes years to compile a meaningful picture of how the downturn has affected intimacy. But just for fun, let’s apply the myriad hypotheses based on anecdotal evidence to the love lab of my relationship for a minute and see.

Saving a Marriage after Job Loss

Amanda Petersen* was living the good life in suburban Detroit. The 40-year-old mother of two was the family breadwinner. A senior executive in a real estate development firm, Petersen’s $200K job paid a generous bonus, offered stock options and a profit-sharing plan. It meant private school for the kids and enabled her to go on special trips with her husband, a firefighter, throw parties, and lavish gifts on family and friends. Laid off last spring, Petersen felt clobbered.

While lucky enough to find a job last summer as the administrator of a non-profit organization, Petersen earns only a third of what she was making, which promptly put an end to getaways, beach houses, holiday gifts and her twice annual parties: “We would have pulled the kids out of private school if we hadn’t paid the tuition for the full year in advance.”…

Free-cation: House-Swap Getaway

Is there anything that gets struck from a tightening budget faster than superfluous hotel trips? I’ve got two words for you: house swap.

Track down another couple and do the old swaparoo. They spend a weekend at your house and you stay Friday night through Sunday afternoon at their place. It’s a lot better than some boring, old staycation. But there are a few ground rules that have to be established.

First: the campground rule is in effect (AKA leave things better than you found them).

Second: no snooping. No matter how well things are hidden, busybodies can…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Coming Home Again

On Tuesday, my husband found out that his freelance work with the firm that picked him up three days after the Layoff is now drying up. Yesterday was his first day “back” at home.

“So, does this make you, like, laid off times two?” I asked in a lame appeal to mask my panic with humor.

“Nah, it’s much better,” he said. I asked him to explain.

Turns out, there are Layoffs and there are layoffs. Technically, of course, this latest downsizing of my beloved doesn’t count as a layoff at all, since Marco hadn’t been on staff at that firm. When his supervisor told him there was no more work for him right now, there was no sense of betrayal, no dark questioning (why me? why not him or her?), nothing personal. Other freelancers had been slowly disappearing. He knew things had been winding down.

When You Can’t Afford to Break Up

My older sister Catherine warned me.

She had picked me up from the airport a week before Christmas in 2006. As the dusk gave way to dark and the Texas horizon rolled out before us, we rode in silence—until I confessed. I had come dangerously close to cheating on Nathan (some names have been changed), my boyfriend of four years, with a friend of mine. Everything was confusing save for one devastating confirmation: I wanted to break up with Nathan…

Pluses of the Pinch

Spring’s here, so even in the face of endless lay offs, the mortgage meltdown, and the tax collector’s knock, I’m convinced there’s something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s because mom always said, “When you’re upset put on a smile, think of something you’re grateful for, and soon your expression will be genuine.” An annoying exercise in fakery perhaps, but it often works.

So, with an acknowledgment to mom, let’s review some of the changes that have smile-inducing side effects:

The Tour de France-Style Commute
People have less money to spend on gas/parking/tolls/trains. In New York the MTA is threatening another fare hike. But bike commuting is booming—up 35 percent over 2007, according to the New York City Department of Transportation.

Pluses: It’s scenic, it’s free and since it’s a commute-workout combo you can save even more money by ditching your gym membership. (If you’re jobless, substitute “commute” for “errand running.”)