Love in the Time of Layoff: Man Behind the Curtain

Note: Deborah Siegel was due to submit her post today, but her growing responsibilities in a rapidly developing venture have precluded her doing so. In other words— the twins are really kicking her ass. Despite being deep into the second trimester, her “morning sickness” hasn’t let up, and she is currently sitting up in bed with a cold compress on her fevered brow. She has thereby ceded the reins of “Love in the Time of Layoff” to me. You, dear reader know me as her house-husband, Her Man Godfrey, her Sancho Panza, her sometimes Bartleby. And now I’m honestly maybe a little too giddy with power. I am Marco.

Yes, I do exist… even as I eliminate the last traces of my existence in our little one-bedroom apartment.

I spent the afternoon yesterday dismantling my desk and bookcase and moving them out of our bedroom: we are staging our apartment yet again. It’s been on the market for months, and with a looming move to bigger digs in Park Slope we’ve redoubled our efforts to get it sold. New broker, new price, new priorities: we needed to let in more light and air, make the place roomier. It became obvious that my office away from work, my study and refuge from a crazy world, my anchor, was doomed. Into the boxes with my design books, my graphic novels and old Tarzan pulps. Reality beckoned…

The Upsides of Our Family Foreclosure

We found out about the foreclosure by accident. Little boys aren’t the best at keeping secrets, and during a Friday afternoon drive home, my husband’s 11-year-old son let the cat out of the bag: “I guess the drive will take a little longer when we live with Joe and Diane,” he said.

We knew right away that his mom was losing her home—their home. My stepson and stepdaughter would be moving from their pale yellow house on a quiet, tree-lined street into a basement apartment at their cousin’s new home. I was nauseous with anger, furious that their mother had sold the house she and my husband once shared and landed everyone in this predicament—and also devastated for the woman who had become my unlikely friend…

Fun and Free: Couples Coupons

You know what’s a real bummer? When the economy is depressed and the only fiscal Prozac we’ve been prescribed is time-released, baby (Did you only an estimated 11% of the “Stimulus” dollars will be disbursed in 2009, per the Congressional Budget Office?). But, we’re humans so we do what men and Muppets do best: persevere. We take joy (not just solace) in small pleasures and learn from the situation (note: savings have increased over the last year and spending actually increased in May 2009, hopefully a portent of good things). But, for now, we have to make romance on the cheap.

But cheap doesn’t have to mean crappy. And a little creativity can be even more precious than all that material stuff (except diamonds from Zimbabwe, they were paid for with blood). Next time when you’ve got to show old girl or old boy that you appreciate her or him, hook her or him up with coupons…

Love in the Time of Layoff: First Money, Then Love

They say you’re never supposed to talk about money, but in the recession, it’s kind of hard not to. Despite a growing savings rate, there has been massive income loss and a dramatic devaluing or even obliteration of assets. For a lot of us, money is forefront and ever-present on our minds.

But should you bring it up in relationships? Absolutely, say CPAs, therapists, love coaches and relationship experts. In marriages, money has always been the number one cause of tension, regardless of whether we’re rolling in it or dining on Ramen noodles…

Recession Briefing: 6.29

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.
Just as many children of the Great Depression learned to hoard money in their houses, today’s children will develop financial habits based on what they learn from parents coping with the recession. (Chicago Tribune)

With nearly one of 10 U.S. workers unable to land a job in the current economic conditions, some unemployed cubicle warriors with sudden free time are succumbing to wanderlust. (USA Today)

The recession is causing some unhappy couples to rethink their marital situation, since a costly divorce would only further deplete already-shrunken assets. (Wall Street Journal)

Recession Briefing 6.22

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

More women are turning to sex work in the bad economy. Strip clubs, X-rated Web cam companies and escort managers across the country have reported an increase in job applications in the last several months — ironically, at the same time that business is largely going down. (Salon)

Healthcare without insurance is like construction without power tools. It can be done, but it will take longer and require a lot more effort. And at times you’ll feel like you’re hammering your thumb. (Los Angeles Times)

Some people are handing over vintage toys, sets of dishes, baseball cards, furniture and clothes to auction houses and online auction sites hoping to generate cash. (New York Daily News)

20 Ways to Come Through When Someone You Love (or Even Just Like) Loses a Job

Nice as it is to hear about indications that the economy turning around, the layoffs aren’t over yet. You’ve probably just heard that yet another colleague, friend, neighbor, congregant, teammate got the ax—or you will soon. If you’ve been there, you know how isolating and demoralizing it can be, even now that joblessness is more norm than humiliation, more zeitgeist than badge of shame. (And if you haven’t been there, you’d best watch your karma. Carefully.)

How well you’re acquainted with said laid-off person (and under what circumstances) will inform how you proceed, of course. (Read 6 Things You Shouldn’t Say to the Newly Laid-off.) But some things never change—like the power of a reachout, a simple favor, and a sympathetic ear.

1. Be there. Call. Write. Do not be MIA, do not put off getting in touch, do not submit to the ewww factor, however tempting it may be.
2. Ask what happened—in a way that doesn’t sound like you have a case of schadenfreude. Most people want to share the gory details, and they may need to find their narrative of What Just Happened.
3. Listen.
4. Be present. Stay sensitive to touchy-subject vibes, obviously, but for now it’s probably better to err on the side of active (though not necessarily moist) concern…

My Wife is My Boss: An Entrepreneur Couple’s Tale

“Let’s go over this again: you’re going to spend our life savings on dried fruit?” I asked my wife, Noha, in 2004 when she first pitched me the idea of starting Peeled Snacks, a fruit and nut snack company.

Earlier in the year we’d both quit our jobs to go traveling before I started a stint as a public school teacher, but I’d assumed that she’d get back to work with a position lucrative enough to offset the modest teacher’s pay I’d soon receive. Instead, she decided to become her own boss and make negative money.

Though those first days truly did gobble up our savings at a frightening rate, watching a company grow and flourish from the front row is exciting. It was a real kick when people started to actually buy these treats…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Money, Money, Money Talk

Carol M. knew she had a good thing in her boyfrirend, Eric. But earlier this year, when she lost her job as a schoolteacherand faced default on her subprime loan, it showed her just how caring and committed he was.

“We recently talked about being in a relationship, and one of the benefits of being in a relationship is you have someone on your side no matter what,” she says. “We sit down and we talk about things. Last week we talked about having to file for bankruptcy.”

Talking about money with a significant other can be a painful, awkward situation—especially when you’re in a dating phase. You’d think it would be easier in good times, but some are saying that the downturn has made it easier to both talk about finances and to learn about a significant other’s situation. Money is top of mind for many of us and a common topic of conversation. If someone is furloughed, laid off or had a salary slashed, their relationship to money becomes more apparent…

Recession Briefing 6.15

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

Vegetable seed producers and merchants across the country are reporting sales increases of as much as 75% this year, and even some shortages, especially of staples like beans, potatoes and lettuces. (Washington Post)

Fake furloughs: Some workers work through their unpaid vacations, because they fear for the long-term safety of their positions and hope their self-sacrifice impresses the management. (New York Times)

The downturn is forcing men to spend more time at home, altering roles everywhere from the laundry room to the child-care center. (Christian Science Monitor)