Love in the Time of Layoff: The Appeal of Employment

Raj had me almost at hello, but he didn’t seem to realize it. As so often happens, the same was true in the reverse, as well—but we two somewhat wary people didn’t realize it on our first meeting. We had sat in the park after a friend suggested we meet (we could “be good contacts for one another”) and shared stories from our lives. We parted with no further plans.

As weeks passed, I wondered if there was a way to meet up with Raj again. I planned to invite him to a party I would throw. And then, out of nowhere, an email: “Call me urgently.” Two minutes later, we were on the phone. He was charming and funny—and he had a proposal, a potentially very lucrative project that would come from one of his clients. My thrill at hearing from Raj was a bit deflated by the absence of romance in it, but I was also very happy and relieved to have work fall into my lap, as I needed it very badly.

It’s always tricky to mix up work and romance, but in this downturn, I couldn’t ignore the very real tug of the rent, loans, bills piling up. So if I couldn’t have Raj as my boyfriend, at least there was something else I might get out of this encounter: some much needed peace of mind…

Recession Briefing 8.5: The Downturn Helps Standup

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

The recession is sparking a new era in stand-up comedy. People still want to laugh. In fact, they need to laugh. They just can’t afford to go out and spend too much money. (The Atlantic)

The recession has made legal service a more daunting expense for many. That has created a surge of litigants who must navigate the often-bewildering justice system by themselves. (Chicago Tribune)

Fun-seekers venturing out to farm fairs, art festivals and other mainstays of the American summer are finding either crowds or cancellation notices this year. (Associated Press)

If you come across a good article or blog post about the recession pass it on. To receive Recession Briefing in your inbox, subscribe to our daily email.

Laid-Off & Looking: Is It OK to Be a Gold-Digger?

In early January 2009, I figured it was time for my guy to meet my mom. It had been seven months and she was beginning to think that I had something to hide. (I didn’t, but before him, I’d been single for six years. I put this relationship at a speed somewhere between frozen turtle and crawling backwards.) He picked out a nice seafood restaurant and I’m pretty sure (from what I haven’t blocked out) that I spent a good deal of the evening wishing for more Tanqueray (as I was cut off… evil people in this world).

Everything was going pretty well until my mother (whom I love—with clenched teeth) brought up a very touchy topic for me. She asked him if his family would think that I’m a gold digger (or GD). She asked him that, upon their first meeting, at dinner, while I was trapped in a booth with an empty tumbler. I don’t recall the rest of the evening. I simply remember being embarrassed.

I won’t lie, I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about how his daughter would feel about a less-than-wealthy woman (9 years her senior) hanging out with her not-close-to-broke dad…

Recession Briefing 7.31: Office Romance Down

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

“People just aren’t having [you know what] in the office any more,” a Wall Street HR person said. “It’s like the crash dampened their hormones.” (Business Insider)

New-car shoppers appear to have already snapped up all the $1 billion that Congress appropriated for the “cash for clunkers” program, leading the Transportation Department to tell auto dealers Thursday night to stop offering the rebates. (New York Times)

Millions of Americans are making dramatic career turnabouts in the recession as some industries shed jobs which analysts say likely won’t return for years, if ever. (USA Today)…Also

Love in the Time of Layoff: 10 Things Not to Say to Your Laid-Off Man

In case you hadn’t heard, the economy is in worse shape than Artie Lange. So it shouldn’t come as a total shock if your boyfriend, husband, or dude-you’re-kinda-seeing-but-don’t-know-what-to-call-him gets a pink memo.

Ease the pain by avoiding the following NSFAGWOOW (Not Safe For A Guy Who’s Out Of Work) phrases. That way you won’t make things worse for a guy who’s already had a horrible week ego-wise.

10. “Oh my god! What are we gonna do?”
For starters, let’s not freak out. Right now your guy needs support, not another fire to put out, and losing your cool is only going to make things worse…

For a Cheap Date, Get Creative

Periodically, things go really well. Property values grow at unprecedented rates. The S & P 500 grows 13% year over year. And, once in a blue moon, a single pretty good (but not great) idea will catch the right executive’s eye and move someone from the creative class into the realm of the nouveau riche (and they will buy Jet Skis for all of their friends). Then other times, the unemployment rate more than doubles inflation and the best solution anyone can think of is to tax high-earners in excess of 50% of their income. In the latter scenario, romance, entertainment and romantic entertainment* become a bit superfluous when budget time comes around. That’s when the tough get creative.

Love in the Time of Layoff: Sugar Mama Days

“Let’s stop and get bakery,” he said. I closed the refrigerator, leaving behind the eggs and fruit we might have eaten. We got in my car and drove to the roadside cafe.

I ordered a blueberry muffin; he ordered a cheese-filled croissant. The total was $6. I paid.

He hadn’t even made a move for his wallet. And it wasn’t the first time.

Six months ago, I was laid off from a job I loved and a salary I really, really loved (you would, too). I left with a nice little pile of severance and had accumulated a substantial 401K. My savings were okay, too. But I was single. It makes a difference, it turns out.

When I met Sugar Boy, he was very clear: He was a dog-walker; he was a painter…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Surviving a Split

Getting laid off by your boss is one thing, but downsized in your relationship? Often, that’s harder.

Jessica did not see it coming. According to the celebrity press, Ms. Simpson and Tony Romo had locked it down. He had won over her finicky dad and the rest of her posse. They ignored the hounding press and developed their own happy hideaway. But July 9, Romo called it quits, leaving Jessica “sad, mad, and confused.”

Getting dumped always sucks, no matter what else is going on in your life, or in the world. And recessions are no barrier against divorce and separation. Just ask Jon and Kate, or Amy Winehouse (well, not the best example), or Timothy Hutton, who is splitting with his wife of nine years…

Recession Briefing 7.13

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

Nearly a quarter of the homes listed for sale in the U.S. have had at least one price reduction, with an average discount of 10% off the original asking price. (TIME)

“I don’t think the worst is over,” said Larry Summers, director of the National Economic Council. “It’s very likely that more jobs will be lost. It would not be surprising if GDP has not yet reached its low.” (Financial Times)

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman cite new research that says a healthy dose of estrogen may be the key not only to our fiscal recovery, but also to economic strength worldwide. (Washington Post)

The economic recession, with its associated decline in global commodity prices, has created an unexpected byproduct: Demand for recyclables has all but dried up. (The Daily Beast)

Free Dates at Friendly Stores

Good news: the economic big brains (except for Dr. Doom(s), Nouriel Roubini and Marc Faber) think the market is heading for a rebound and that typically precedes a general rebound by 12-18 months. Bad news: joblessness has hit 9.5%. While the statistics and methodology for determining joblessness borders on pseudo-science, it’s a bad sign indeed. So people will have to continue drinking powdered water (just add water) for the time being. But how do you keep the relationship (the old ball and chain) fun during these times of woe? “Be creative and keep your peepers peeled” is how.

Our pahtnahs (sound it out) over at Shine are reporting that Ikea (the Swedish furniture brand that allows you the freedom to construct your own furniture and invariably give you enough extra parts that you’re convinced you did something wildly wrong during the assembly) in New York offers childcare services to customers. In fact, the “customers” need not be even actively shopping to receive 45 minutes of free couch time.