Recession Lexicon: Bleakonomics

/n. “Bleakonomics” refers to the dire forecasts, depressing warnings, and otherwise gloomy chatter that’s still brewing beneath the recent round of cheerier economic predictions. The bleakonomists warn us that any sense of hope we feel is entirely unfounded. Recently, Havard’s Niall Ferguson announced that we are in a “slight depression”…

Recession Lexicon: Recessed

/adj. “Recessed” describes a relatively mild condition of discontent, ennui or disillusion triggered by job loss, portfolio plundering, or home value decline.

Not as serious as the experience of being depressed, feeling recessed can still suck pretty badly, and often requires bailouts in the form of small monetary floaters…

Recession Lexicon: Prayoff

A prayoff is layoff you’re desperately hoping and praying for, so that you can get that severance check and be done with a job you can’t stand.

Ex. I’m headed to Buenos Aires because my prayoff just came through.

Recession Lexicon: Funemployment

A period of joblessness that you actually enjoy—maybe you get to lay out, sleep in, work out, read up. It helps to have savings, severance or an unemployment check to help pay the bills. We’re hearing this word used more and more, especially as people realize they may not be able to find a new job right away, so they might as well try to enjoy the time off…

Recession Lexicon: Slayoff

A particularly cold-blooded method of laying off employees, such as breaking the news on a company blog, leaving a note in an employee’s chair, dispatching a mass email, or sending a certified letter to a worker’s home that says, “Do not come back to the office…”

Recession Lexicon: Recession Roadkill

“Recession roadkill” refers to the laid-off, the unemployed, and those generally getting run over by the merciless wheels of the economy. The term has been popping up lately on the blogosphere (Jim Cramer’s blog on TheStreet.com; Miss Pink Slip ).

Ex: Being recession roadkill has allowed me to indulge my daytime soap fetish.

Recession Lexicon: Recession Hacking

Finding and using smart strategies and ideas for dealing with the downturn—whether it’s saving money on your cell phone bill to dining for less. We don’t know where this one started, but there are already a few websites using it, including Recession Hacking and Recession Hacks. Without realizing it, you’re probably looking for recession hacks every day.

Recession Lexicon: Canniversary

Recession Lexicon: Canniversary

A year from the date when you got canned from your job.

This term, especially popular in the UK, takes a celebratory stance towards what could otherwise be a downer (shout out to our friend London Jack for the suggestion). If your canniversary is coming up, we suggest rewarding yourself for surviving with a night on the town. If you were laid off in a group, why not get the whole gang together for festivities? You’ve earned it.

Ex. Should we do our canniversary at Raoul’s?

Recession Lexicon: Homeworking

This term is so obvious, we’re amazed more people aren’t using it. It’s a little less of a mouthful than “working from home,” which is great for all of us who are now setting up shop in kitchens, spare bedrooms, and alcoves.

Recession Lexicon: Outshipped

When your company lets you keep your job, but ships you to a developing country.

IBM has a new approach to laying off workers: Hang on to your job, but move to India. After pinkslipping thousands, Big Blue is telling American employees that they can have a job, but must export themselves to India, where they’ll receive…

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