The Hard Truth about Fat-Cat CEO’s

Sometimes Recessionwire carries a certain bias, one that supports the out-of-worker and opposes the big, bad CEO. As a fair and balanced news source, we find it necessary to provide the reader a glimpse of both sides of the coin. What really goes on in the life of some of the world’s most powerful people? To find out, we get the perspective of the CEO of DASSCC (Dynamic Analysts and Synergetic Systems Consultants Corporation), Peter B. Gibbonsworth, in a segment we like to call: Myth…And Busted…

Making Lists in the Downturn

They say successful people make lists. What do you want out of life and how are you going to get it? What are your top qualities? Who are you valuable to and why? Yada yada. What happens when lists aren’t all about doing things right? We look at six lists and find out…

36 Hours in Philadelphia: Recession Edition

Every so often, the New York Times publishes a travel feature called “36 Hours in —-,” featuring a weekend-long itinerary for a specific city. We think they may have missed a few things in the recession – a look at Philadelphia, for one.

When Ben Franklin first arrived in Philadelphia, he only carried a spare change of clothes and a loaf of bread under each arm. If being poor in Philly is good enough for America’s Founding Father, it’s good enough for you. It would be so much fun to see Independence Hall, or the Philadelphia Museum of Art, an Eagles game or even a skyscraper, but we’re going to be responsible about our vacation and stick to West Philadelphia, home of row houses, the Market-Frankford Line and some of the most dangerous street corners this side of midnight…

Back in the (Private Jet) Saddle, Again

“Everybody agrees that the recession is over,” said Larry Summers, the President’s top economic adviser, in December. Whew. Glad that’s behind us. Now we can get back to our fifth homes, start trading again on mortgage-backed securities (boy, those days were good!), and stop feigning embarrassment over paying retail. What’s more—it’s okay to fly private-jet again!

According to aviation research firm Argus, private aircraft travel was up 5.3% in January over the same time last year. Woo hoo!

So here are some friendlier skies we’d like to see spring back up soon, so that everything is back to normal…

How I Imagine My Hypothetical Average Workday, by Decade(s)

My parents always say things like “back in my day…the world was a better place” or “back in my day…we didn’t need e-mail to have a good time.” Here’s how I see it:

The Fifties
I get out of bed and put my slippers on. Everything is in grayscale. My wife has prepared a beautiful smorgasbord of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and cereal flakes. My blond son, Timmy, and my blonde daughter, Diane, both tell me how they are so proud of their father. I smile and one of my front teeth literally sparkles. We all giggle. The golden retriever giggles too. I tell Timmy he had better eat his cereal flakes if he wants to get big and mighty like Hank Aaron. We all pray to family values and thank God we don’t live in Russia.

When I get into work, my secretary compliments me on my clean and neat haircut. She gives me many reports I won’t read. I drink three glasses of scotch, smoke a pack of cigarettes, have conversations that might seem racially insensitive with today’s standards and eventually end up at a meeting in which we are told the company is growing at an outstanding rate…

Why Daddy Has Time to Eat Fruity Pebbles Till Noon

As a kid, I always hated it when my parents spelled out words they didn’t want me to hear. Back then it was b-e-d-t-i-m-e, or g-r-u-m-p-y. Now it’s words you won’t even need to spell. B-e-r-n-a-n-k-e. C-r-i-p-p-l-i-n-g U-n-e-m-p-l-o-y-m-e-n-t.

Why bring little Timmy or Madeline out of their world of ice cream and action figures and into your world of calling that guy you played club soccer with in college to see if his management consulting firm has any entry-level positions to fill? How to explain, or not explain, the recession to your children:…

The US and China–Who’s Screwing Who? (Video)

Aren’t treasury bills hilarious? And what about that national debt? Bwahahaha..

Well, Saturday Night Live hasn’t been this funny in years, as it sends up Washington’s attempt to ignore the fact that China kind of owns us…

Video: The Recession Took My Escalade and Stripper Money

Not sure how we missed this Daily Show segment on how the downturn has taken the bling off rappers. As Slim Thug says: We used to roll, 20 dudes, tour bus, all around the whole country. These days you get…a van.

Feel his pain.

Happiness on $10 a Day: Schadenfreude Comes Cheap

Heather Wagner’s witty new book, Happiness on $10 a Day (HarperCollins), explains how to find joy through inexpensive activities like puppy stalking and backyard bungee-jumping. Buy the book — or win a copy by retweeting this post OR by telling us in comments their cheap happiness tips. (Deadline for entry is Oct. 9.) We love this chapter on schaudenfeude–so easy to come by in recession!

“Schadenfruede” derives from the two German terms: Schaden (damage) and Freude (joy). The mighty do fall–and it is mightily fun to enjoy their descent.

Look Hotter Than Your Ex (FREE!)
Seeing a former flame in a bloated, tired, or sloppy state when you look fantastic is one of the fundamental sources of happiness in this world. The first part of this equation is strategic: by stealthily monitoring your ex’s online activity, you can pinpoint the party or public gathering likely to reunite you with Mister or Miss Utterly Heartless…

Cash4Gold Will Save the Country (Video)

The geniuses who brought us the $2 trillion bailout have a new plan for raising cash. Check out the video after the jump.