Love in the Time of Layoff: Desperation Dating

Getting laid off in the throes of a recession is tough, but getting laid in a recession is, well, not.

It’s true: unemployment has done wonders for my dating life. Had I known it ten years ago, I would have surely done everything within my power to get canned. But like most women, I had rent to pay and dead-end jobs to contend with until I got kicked out of both places on the same day.

Now that I have all the time in the world to kill, there’s no end to the possibilities.

I’ve got a laptop and libido, what more do I need? Whether it’s online or on the streets of Boston, I’ve dated more men in the last six months that I have over the course of six years. Maybe it’s the fact that there are lotsa people out there with lotsa time on their hands. And because dating is so similar to the job search process they almost seem to go hand-in-hand (minus the alcohol). I toggle between Monster and Match…

7 Tips for Living with the Unemployed

The economy is supposedly in recovery, but layoffs are still prominent in virtually every industry. Many more people than usual can relate to a phenomenon usually restricted to the over-60 set: living with an unemployed spouse.

While being laid off and entering into retirement are far from the same, they both often leave one half of a couple with extra time on their hands, and plenty of pent-up energy that their significant other, coming home after a long day at work, can’t handle.Read: 4 Reasons To Date The Unemployed

WSJ.com recently wrote an article that shared a few words of wisdom on how to deal with this situation. Here are a few of their tips, plus some of our own…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Truisms from Our Time

Okay all you lovers out there, so what do you know about dating, living and loving in the recession? Budgets for lavish dates and gifts have shrunk; long-term plans for established relationships have been somewhat downsized; and we’re all perhaps a little more deliberate in our dating than we were in the boom times. Things have changed–not least in the way you appreciate your mate. Below, some of the new realities that have emerged in these tough times:

You don’t need to spend a lot to get a lot. In a guest post, “Funky Brown Chick” Twanna A. Hines wrote about getting laid without laying out too much for it. Try renting porn flicks, buy sex toys, and try mixing it up by getting out of town on the cheap.

There are countless options for romantic dates on a budget…

Dating on a Dime

Let’s face it: The economy may be improving, but blast that lagging economic indicator—unemployment is around to stay, at least for a little bit. And while you may have plenty of time on your hands, the reality is that, more likely than not, your pockets will be a little bit emptier than desired.

Never fear, necessity is the mother of invention! And there are plenty of ways you can save money on a date (without looking like a cheap skate). Clever, low-cost date ideas will get you out and about in the world with your sweetheart and allow you to get to know each other better than any fancy-schmancy dinner could ever facilitate…

Cheap Date: Blog with your Sweetie

Hey hey. Good news. Over at the New York Times, super sourpuss Paul Krugman thinks the economy may have cratered. Mr. Brightside warns that before we all buy jet skis and charter flights to Monaco to realize things are still grim. Saving more and spending less is a pretty good policy. But dating, mating and the whole relating shebang are tough to do without spending dough. That’s when you gotta get creative…

Love in the Time of Layoff: The Appeal of Employment

Raj had me almost at hello, but he didn’t seem to realize it. As so often happens, the same was true in the reverse, as well—but we two somewhat wary people didn’t realize it on our first meeting. We had sat in the park after a friend suggested we meet (we could “be good contacts for one another”) and shared stories from our lives. We parted with no further plans.

As weeks passed, I wondered if there was a way to meet up with Raj again. I planned to invite him to a party I would throw. And then, out of nowhere, an email: “Call me urgently.” Two minutes later, we were on the phone. He was charming and funny—and he had a proposal, a potentially very lucrative project that would come from one of his clients. My thrill at hearing from Raj was a bit deflated by the absence of romance in it, but I was also very happy and relieved to have work fall into my lap, as I needed it very badly.

It’s always tricky to mix up work and romance, but in this downturn, I couldn’t ignore the very real tug of the rent, loans, bills piling up. So if I couldn’t have Raj as my boyfriend, at least there was something else I might get out of this encounter: some much needed peace of mind…

Free Dates at Friendly Stores

Good news: the economic big brains (except for Dr. Doom(s), Nouriel Roubini and Marc Faber) think the market is heading for a rebound and that typically precedes a general rebound by 12-18 months. Bad news: joblessness has hit 9.5%. While the statistics and methodology for determining joblessness borders on pseudo-science, it’s a bad sign indeed. So people will have to continue drinking powdered water (just add water) for the time being. But how do you keep the relationship (the old ball and chain) fun during these times of woe? “Be creative and keep your peepers peeled” is how.

Our pahtnahs (sound it out) over at Shine are reporting that Ikea (the Swedish furniture brand that allows you the freedom to construct your own furniture and invariably give you enough extra parts that you’re convinced you did something wildly wrong during the assembly) in New York offers childcare services to customers. In fact, the “customers” need not be even actively shopping to receive 45 minutes of free couch time.

Cheap Date: Learning a Language

Sometimes the stock market increases 15% year over year. Sometimes we bump up interest rates because growth and inflation and moving too quickly. And sometimes ordinary people buy unaffordable houses with strange loan products because the home is guaranteed to double in value (in a short, short time). That sometime is not today. While the country’s fiscal vitality is showing signs of a perk up (except for a certain symbolic flagship auto manufacturer, that is), us ordinary Toms are having a tough go of it.

Rather than cry in our Mad Dog 20/20, we can make our own fun. We don’t have to drop ducats on theater tickets, surf-and-turf specials, trips to St. Bartholomew’s or season passes to Six Flags to have a great time on a date. You can get creative and do something much better. This time around, learn a language together…

Recession Briefing 6.5

What you need to know today to survive and thrive in the recession.

The recession has sparked a growing phenomenon of people dressing up as superheroes to perform community service, help the homeless and even fight crime. Superheroes also emerged as figures in the Great Depression. (CNN, Recessionwire)

Instead of feeling self-conscious about spending less, people are flaunting their frugality. Both those who have lost income and those who simply fear they may become at risk are part of the new discourse. (Washington Post)

The official unemployment rate doesn’t include millions of “involuntary part-time workers,” or those who grew discouraged and stopped looking for work. Once they are added to the unemployment mix, the April rate would be 15.8 percent. (Associated Press) Are you among the “Screwed” by the economy? See our Laid-Off 101 guide...

Love in the Time of Layoff: Bankers Are to 2007 as ________ Are to 2009

Last week we found ourselves on a two woman bar tour, consisting of just ourselves. We were flitting between two groups of guys, one group was at Spitzer’s and another across the street at ‘inoteca. After a glass of wine and some assorted cheeses at ‘inoteca, we would dash to Spitzer’s to chow on truffle mac and cheese with some Aussies. Had we not been so amused by our own antics, we would have gone home pleading a ‘breakfast meeting,’ well that and the cutie in a suit stationed in the doorway of Spitzer’s, who had been frantically blackberrying for the better part of an hour. So stoic was his demeanor that we just had to dub him the Downtown Centurion. One of us and we won’t say who (we do write for Dating a Banker Anonymous) was about to make her fourth entrance of the night when the Downtown Centurion deigned to speak to her. She had taken to switching up her hair and taking off her leather jacket that was “totally giving her street cred” every time she switched locations.

Downtown Centurion: You forgot to take your hair down.

DABA Girl (smooth): Huh?

Downtown Centurion (eyes still on BlackBerry): You’ve been taking your hair down and putting your jacket on every time, you come in. Don’t mess up your flow now. Although personally, I’d be interested in seeing the jacket off and hair down combo, but maybe you’re saving that for later?…