Why Daddy Has Time to Eat Fruity Pebbles Till Noon

As a kid, I always hated it when my parents spelled out words they didn’t want me to hear. Back then it was b-e-d-t-i-m-e, or g-r-u-m-p-y. Now it’s words you won’t even need to spell. B-e-r-n-a-n-k-e. C-r-i-p-p-l-i-n-g U-n-e-m-p-l-o-y-m-e-n-t.

Why bring little Timmy or Madeline out of their world of ice cream and action figures and into your world of calling that guy you played club soccer with in college to see if his management consulting firm has any entry-level positions to fill? How to explain, or not explain, the recession to your children:…

11 Easy Steps to Relocating

If Tom Joad were here today (and real), he might just sit tight in his home state of Oklahoma.

That’s because, despite record high unemployment and an unequal distribution of jobs across the fifty states, fewer unemployed Americans are hitting the road in search of work since World War II.

Worse: only 7.3% of job seekers relocated for work in the fourth quarter of 2009, according to Challenger, Gray & Christmas.

Perhaps employers just aren’t hiring across state lines, but some people have it tough—saddled with debt, or a home that they can’t sell. Who’s got the cash for a big move into the unknown?…

Screwed: 350 at Wal-Mart

A daily review of the employment fallout around the country and the world.

Today’s Total: 1,002

Wal-Mart announced another 350 job cuts at its Arkansas headquarters after last week’s 12,700 cuts, but claims that this will be the last round…Diebold Inc. plans on laying off 250 employees in Green, Ohio…The recent acquisition of Ames Safety Envelope Co. by Tab Products Co. will lead to 150 workers without jobs…In Illinois, Maine Township High School District is eliminating 135 jobs in order to close their budget deficit…Enerplus Resources Fund cut 65 staff members, 7 percent of their workforce, yesterday in Calgary and Denver…Poinard Pharmaceuticals plans on laying off 28 employees–over half of its 50-person workforce–in Seattle and San Francisco by Friday…In Texas, Better Beverages will be laying off 24 workers on Friday due to a decision by parent company Pepsi Bottling Group to cut production in Hallettsville….Adidas America announced an unspecified number of job cuts in Portland, Oregon…

Stop Wallowing and Start Working–Volunteer Working

You’ve drowned in self-pity and drunk yourself into depression. Now as a victim of the recession it might be time to try doing something new and slightly more productive with your free time—like helping someone else as a volunteer.

After all, scouring online job boards and e-mailing potential business contacts can’t take up all of your spare time. And with more than 63 million people volunteering in the past year—almost 2 million more than the number who volunteered during the 2007/2008 period—there’s no telling who you’ll meet while helping out, or what that new contact could lead to. All in all, the experience could add a bullet point to your resume, and perhaps lead you to a job. Oh, and your efforts help those in need (besides yourself).

The trickiest part may be getting started. After the jump we’ve put together a roundup of a few of the many interesting websites and mobile applications devoted to helping people find projects in their local communities and beyond….

Wear Your Resume on Your Sleeve (or Shoulder)

So you went from worshipping the “It” bag to feeling like a bag lady. Well, at least now you know just how versatile a purse can be.

But bet you hadn’t thought of this: In addition to broadcasting your social status and storing your worldly possessions, you can also use accessories to showcase your skills and experience.

That’s especially useful in the downturn, when you might feel like you need to pass out your C.V. out like sample sale flyers. Here are four cheeky tips for scoring a job interview with your bag. And please — don’t forget to have your resume stashed in it…

Screwed: Up to 4,000 at GlaxoSmithKline

A daily review of the employment fallout around the country and the world.

Today’s total: 5,058

GlaxoSmithKline plans on eliminating up to 4,000 jobs from their workforce…Sony Pictures Entertainment announced that it will lay off about 400 employees to cope with declining DVD sales…Harleysville National Bank expects to cut up to 300 jobs after a merger in March…In Tennessee, First Horizon National Corp. has decided to shut down one of their departments, leaving 100 employees out of work…CBS News will hand out pink slips to up to 100 staffers next week…Fujifilm North America Corp. announced its plan to lay off 100 nonunion employees after shutting down their Texas facility…PNC Financial Services Group plans on laying off 58 IT jobs in Cleveland…

Screwed: Possible 4,300 in New York

A daily review of the employment fallout around the country and the world.

Today’s total: 5,347

NYC government officials are working on a budget proposal that may leave 4,300 people without jobs…Electric Boat announced last Friday that they will be cutting 432 jobs by April…ATK handed pink slips to 420 Utah workers and plans on laying off another 200 in May…Last Friday, Iberdola USA started their 140 job cuts all over the Northeast…US Bank plans on laying off 50 workers from its Illinois branches come March…Sun Microsystems laid off 32 jobs this month and will cut another 197 in March and April…On another round of layoffs, Dell Inc. plans on laying off an unspecified number of peoplethis week…

The Starbucks Guide to Job Status

Roman bath houses, or thermae, were massive public spheres (the Baths of Diocletian covered almost one and a half million square feet) that served as public gathering spots for every cross-section of society. Today, we have Starbucks.

CFO’s, soccer moms, drifters, aspiring musicians and more aspiring musicians all wait on line together. And then there’s you, a worker type. You could be unemployed, passing yourself off as a 9-to-5er. Or, you’re collecting a fancy salary but you’d like to pretend you’re one of the unwashed—you know, for kicks. You know which one you are, but can your co-caffeinators tell? It’s all right there in your order.

Espresso, Cream, No Sugar, to go-

You are gainfully employed. Usually you would be at work now, but you had to take a trip to the bank to deposit all of those paychecks and were in the area (of course you were). Plus, some extra caffeine will give that extra boost you need to pump out the Ralston account and serve as a responsible and contributing member of the work force. Drink up, you deserved it!

Starbucks Doubleshot on Ice, with an extra Espresso shot, to go-

You are painfully employed. No one should need that much caffeine. Yes, I’ve heard Voltaire drank between 20 and 30 cups a day, but you are not in the process of writing Dictionnaire Philosophique…

2009 Was a Big Year for Start-Ups

Isn’t it nice to be validated? For more than a year, we’ve been talking about all the new businesses that would be started as a result of the recession. We knew there were people who felt liberated by being laid off or by quitting miserable jobs, and others who were launching start-ups because they didn’t see any job openings out there.

According to a new survey by Challenger, Gray & Christmas, 8.6 percent of unemployed managers and executives started started businesses last year, a four-year high.

“The start-up rate might have been even higher if banks had loosened their lending standards,” pointed out John Challenger, the company’s CEO…

Screwed: Hundreds in Phoenix

A daily review of the employment fallout around the country and the world.

Today’s total: 819

Phoenix is letting go hundreds of police officers and firefighters…Time Warner Cable is canning 350 people in Colorado…more than 150 police officers in Tulsa will lose their jobs…cable maker Commscope is cutting 150 jobs in Omaha…