Love in the Time of Layoff: Money, Money, Money Talk

Carol M. knew she had a good thing in her boyfrirend, Eric. But earlier this year, when she lost her job as a schoolteacherand faced default on her subprime loan, it showed her just how caring and committed he was.

“We recently talked about being in a relationship, and one of the benefits of being in a relationship is you have someone on your side no matter what,” she says. “We sit down and we talk about things. Last week we talked about having to file for bankruptcy.”

Talking about money with a significant other can be a painful, awkward situation—especially when you’re in a dating phase. You’d think it would be easier in good times, but some are saying that the downturn has made it easier to both talk about finances and to learn about a significant other’s situation. Money is top of mind for many of us and a common topic of conversation. If someone is furloughed, laid off or had a salary slashed, their relationship to money becomes more apparent…

How to Get Cheap Newspaper and Magazine Subscriptions

Are you a papervore who is still reading newspapers and magazines? Good—we are too. And while searching for frugal ways to renew subscriptions that are expiring in the middle of a recession, we found two new ways to get our favorite publications.

Magazine resellers often give better deals than the publications themselves. Even lower prices can be had on eBay. Yes, eBay. We renewed New York Magazine for $15, versus the “bargain” $40 offered in a mailing. We spotted BusinessWeek for just $10. Hitch is, the selection is pretty random.

Frequent flyer programs are another good bet. For 500 Delta Skymiles points, we got a year’s worth of Fast Company. (Time, Sports Illustrated, W and People en Espanol were among the other titles.) United Airlines’ program offers the Wall Street Journal for just 3,300 miles. If you calculate the value of miles at one cent each, that means you can get a full year of WSJ for $33—which is basically amazing. The regular price right now is $441.

But don’t get mad at us if there are restrictions, like offers for new subscribers only, or delivery only to the continental U.S. As always, check the fine print before you buy.

My Free Edumacation

I am a secret self-improver.

There is a stash of relationship books in my apartment, tucked where my boyfriend is unlikely to stick his nose. One of my favorite vacations ever was to Canyon Ranch, where I spent five hours a day running between yoga and cardio workshops (and hoped nobody saw me in the bongo class). Over the past several years have enrolled in French, Chinese, guitar, tennis, and cooking classes. No, I still can’t cook. Thanks for asking.

One of the bummers about being unemployed is that I don’t have the dough to finance my “personal growth.” And even though I like the idea of being an autodidact, I don’t have the discipline to teach myself stuff from books. But these days, you don’t need money or good study habits—there are plenty of classes available for free, both online and in person. In fact, I’m now tempted to spend the next few months in my own personal summer school. Feel free to crib my curriculum…

How to Be a Good Wedding Guest without Going Broke

Yes, times are tough but let us not forget that love carries on. Case in point, that growing stack of wedding invitations you have thumb tacked to the calendar. If it seems as though everyone you know is suddenly getting married this summer, that may very well be the case. Wedding season is officially in full swing and just because you’re counting every penny, don’t discount the fact that you’re still required to send a gift for every invitation that comes your way.

While Brides.com suggests that the average amount of money to spend on a wedding gift is $100, the rules of etiquette may be broken on account of a bad economy. If you don’t have quite as much cash to give this year, you can still say “I do” when it comes to being a good wedding guest.

Give your friends a gift that doesn’t have an obvious monetary value. In other words, resist the urge to write them a check in the amount of $94.25 even if it shows that you’re down to your last dollar…

Love in the Time of Layoff: The Changing Hearts & Minds of Men

This morning my husband Marco got up early to buy me eggs before my morning sickness kicked in. Before he got laid off, such an errand would have caused him strife. When he had to show up somewhere on time, anything that deviated from the norm of morning routine could throw him off. But this morning was different. This morning, Marco had a reverie buying me eggs.

“I got to the store on the corner before it opened,” he came back and explained, his voice all quiet and calm. “So I walked around for a while in the hazy rain. And when I came back and picked up the eggs, I thought of where they came from. I thought of the farm.”

“The farm?” I asked, plucking two eggs from their carton in a rush to cook them and get them in me quickly before I threw up. We live in busy Manhattan. Even the closest farmer’s market is a few subway stops away.

“Yeah, the farm. I felt part of that cycle of farm life where you get up before dawn because you have to get some things done before everyone else wakes up. I felt part of some kind of more natural work life cycle. I felt part of that somehow just looking at these eggs.”…

Capital Thrift—Finding Clothing Bargains in Washington

One of the first things I gave up when I lost my job was buying clothes. Since I only needed jeans and t-shirts to wear around the house and a few suits for interviews, I didn’t have a valid excuse to shop. But, within a few months, I was itching to refresh my wardrobe. The weather was warmer and I wanted to add some color to my closet. So I decided to bend the rules. I called my friend Frances, who’s also unemployed, and asked her to join me for some shopping—thrift shopping. D.C. isn’t the most obvious place to find cool clothes, and I wasn’t sure if we’d find anything worthwhile, but at least for the afternoon it would be a distraction from the job hunt…

At the End of Your Robe: Beachwear Bargains

As if getting in shape for summer weren’t enough pressure—now you have to figure out how do you pull together warm-weather looks that are fashionable, flattering, and affordable. If last year’s bikini is too stretched out or your swim trunks are faded beyond recognition, consider these 10 resources for finding a perfect beach wardrobe while still staying financially afloat.

Old Navy: The ultimate resource for beach items that are fresh, bright and, most of all, cheap. Their men’s swim trunks in solids and prints are only $15. Mix and match separates and one-piece swimsuits for women are all under $20; kids’ swimwear is a steal for less than $10 an item. And who can beat flip-flops for five bucks?

Swimoutlet.com: Prefer doing laps in the pool to lounging the beach? This site has more athletic-style swimsuits…

Cheap Date: Learning a Language

Sometimes the stock market increases 15% year over year. Sometimes we bump up interest rates because growth and inflation and moving too quickly. And sometimes ordinary people buy unaffordable houses with strange loan products because the home is guaranteed to double in value (in a short, short time). That sometime is not today. While the country’s fiscal vitality is showing signs of a perk up (except for a certain symbolic flagship auto manufacturer, that is), us ordinary Toms are having a tough go of it.

Rather than cry in our Mad Dog 20/20, we can make our own fun. We don’t have to drop ducats on theater tickets, surf-and-turf specials, trips to St. Bartholomew’s or season passes to Six Flags to have a great time on a date. You can get creative and do something much better. This time around, learn a language together…

Love in the Time of Layoff: Bankers Are to 2007 as ________ Are to 2009

Last week we found ourselves on a two woman bar tour, consisting of just ourselves. We were flitting between two groups of guys, one group was at Spitzer’s and another across the street at ‘inoteca. After a glass of wine and some assorted cheeses at ‘inoteca, we would dash to Spitzer’s to chow on truffle mac and cheese with some Aussies. Had we not been so amused by our own antics, we would have gone home pleading a ‘breakfast meeting,’ well that and the cutie in a suit stationed in the doorway of Spitzer’s, who had been frantically blackberrying for the better part of an hour. So stoic was his demeanor that we just had to dub him the Downtown Centurion. One of us and we won’t say who (we do write for Dating a Banker Anonymous) was about to make her fourth entrance of the night when the Downtown Centurion deigned to speak to her. She had taken to switching up her hair and taking off her leather jacket that was “totally giving her street cred” every time she switched locations.

Downtown Centurion: You forgot to take your hair down.

DABA Girl (smooth): Huh?

Downtown Centurion (eyes still on BlackBerry): You’ve been taking your hair down and putting your jacket on every time, you come in. Don’t mess up your flow now. Although personally, I’d be interested in seeing the jacket off and hair down combo, but maybe you’re saving that for later?…

Pampering to Plump the Economy

We’ve heard the nation’s leaders warn that we can’t really dig ourselves out of this economic ditch until consumer confidence returns—in other words, until we all feel safe enough to get out there and shop. But this plan of action feels rash. Excessive, reckless, down-payment-in-shoes-style consumption is what got us into this mess. And who needs another pair of strappy sandals anyway? But there is one kind of shopping that can help make a difference. It’s the most indulgent, frivolous, pamper-me style shopping—the kind you’ve probably become too monkish to consider. But it’s the best thing for the economy, and for your toes, especially if you’re wearing last year’s styles.

One of the best ways to stimulate the economy yourself is to spend money on personal services, according to Dean Baker, founder of the Center for Economic Policy Research. “Personal services” is finance code for manicures and pedicures, facials, babysitters, lawn care, and dog groomers. Apparently, this is a more efficient and effective form of consumerism, for yourself and the economy as a whole. Service industries generally have low overhead and spend more of their revenue on paying staff than a typical store. They are also often locally owned, keeping your dollars not just within the country’s borders, but in your own community…