Taking a Hike, and Other Cheap Dates

Every week or so, this space throws out a fun relationship suggestion that’s easy on the wallet. This time around, it’s exercise.

First of all, exercise is a virtual panacea. Per research that I have no way of substantiating, sedentary lifestyles cause more deaths than smoking. A little exercise (say, sweating 3 times per week for 20-30 minutes per session) can have immediate results. Old wisdom says you feel the results (in terms of increased energy, decreased lethargy) in weeks and see results (if you’re looking at my gut, I’m working on it) in a month.

“How does this make dating more awesome?” Good question, Aguado. Many therapists…

2 Ways the Recession is Good for Romance

The recession will affect relationships in different ways, and just how couples deal with economic turmoil will depend on a multitude of factors. While the prevailing tone of this roundup (of perspectives on what happens to couples as they wade through financial woes) by the editors at The New York Times is a tad negative, a few panelists shed light on positive points. Here are those that rose to the fore:

Talking through the tough times can strengthen relationships, pointed out Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington. “A bad economy can force people to take up these difficult conversations. If couples are honest and compassionate with one another, if they learn to work it out as a team, they could emerge with a better relationship,” wrote Schwartz. Difficult times spawn deep, solution-seeking discussions. It’s the act of plowing through the issues and mining for fixes together that can build intimacy, connectedness and ultimately bring couples closer together…

Saving a Marriage after Job Loss

Amanda Petersen* was living the good life in suburban Detroit. The 40-year-old mother of two was the family breadwinner. A senior executive in a real estate development firm, Petersen’s $200K job paid a generous bonus, offered stock options and a profit-sharing plan. It meant private school for the kids and enabled her to go on special trips with her husband, a firefighter, throw parties, and lavish gifts on family and friends. Laid off last spring, Petersen felt clobbered.

While lucky enough to find a job last summer as the administrator of a non-profit organization, Petersen earns only a third of what she was making, which promptly put an end to getaways, beach houses, holiday gifts and her twice annual parties: “We would have pulled the kids out of private school if we hadn’t paid the tuition for the full year in advance.”…

Free-cation: House-Swap Getaway

Is there anything that gets struck from a tightening budget faster than superfluous hotel trips? I’ve got two words for you: house swap.

Track down another couple and do the old swaparoo. They spend a weekend at your house and you stay Friday night through Sunday afternoon at their place. It’s a lot better than some boring, old staycation. But there are a few ground rules that have to be established.

First: the campground rule is in effect (AKA leave things better than you found them).

Second: no snooping. No matter how well things are hidden, busybodies can…

When You Can’t Afford to Break Up

My older sister Catherine warned me.

She had picked me up from the airport a week before Christmas in 2006. As the dusk gave way to dark and the Texas horizon rolled out before us, we rode in silence—until I confessed. I had come dangerously close to cheating on Nathan (some names have been changed), my boyfriend of four years, with a friend of mine. Everything was confusing save for one devastating confirmation: I wanted to break up with Nathan…