Love in the Time of Layoff: Can You Afford the Stork?

“The economy’s so bad we had to lay off one of our kids,” comedian Jonathan Katz recently joked.

Pretty funny. And absurd. But what about laying off the stork? Now there’s an idea…

During the Depression, the birth rate plummeted and there are several indicators —a recent uptick in vasectomies, a spike in condom sales, and buzz about pregnancy postponement on mommy blogs, health, and news sites – that this recession’s also affecting family planning.

The reality is kids cost a lot. We’re talking six figures. The Department of Agriculture estimates that families making $46,000 to $77,000 annually will spend more than $200,000 on children through high school. And that’s bare-bones—it doesn’t include college tuition. The Wall Street Journal estimates families earning $118,000 a year will spend $800,000 (on the low end!) through age 17. Of course, some prospective parents also need to factor in the up-front costs of adoption or in vitro fertilization. Madonna may be snatching up babies in Malawi, but she’s the Material Girl. What about the rest of us?

So how do you actually assess whether you can afford a baby or not? Can you really reduce a child to a financial calculation? They’re questions my new husband, Jay, and I have thought a lot about…

Pluses of the Pinch

Spring’s here, so even in the face of endless lay offs, the mortgage meltdown, and the tax collector’s knock, I’m convinced there’s something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s because mom always said, “When you’re upset put on a smile, think of something you’re grateful for, and soon your expression will be genuine.” An annoying exercise in fakery perhaps, but it often works.

So, with an acknowledgment to mom, let’s review some of the changes that have smile-inducing side effects:

The Tour de France-Style Commute
People have less money to spend on gas/parking/tolls/trains. In New York the MTA is threatening another fare hike. But bike commuting is booming—up 35 percent over 2007, according to the New York City Department of Transportation.

Pluses: It’s scenic, it’s free and since it’s a commute-workout combo you can save even more money by ditching your gym membership. (If you’re jobless, substitute “commute” for “errand running.”)