Recession Lessons from the Jersey Shore

Toss out your econ books and get your nose out of the financial section, because the best real-world lessons for surviving a recession aren’t in any textbooks or newspapers. They’re staring you down on Jersey Shore—the MTV reality series about eight 20-somethings struggling to find their true selves while living in a world awash in recession.

Okay, so the actual focus of Jersey Shore might not entirely be on educating people about the recession, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t lessons to be learned from watching it. After the jump, five recession lessons we’ve picked up from watching Jersey Shore.

Start performing at work or you will be replaced. Slacker employees may have had more leeway in the past, but employers have the advantage in a recession where the unemployment rate is hovering at 10.4 percent. Take it from Angelina, who got fired from her gig at a T-shirt shop for failing to show up and was subsequently booted from the show…

How to Keep Your Job by Becoming Irreplaceable

At the risk of stating the obvious, skill, talent, and seniority no longer guarantee job security. And blackmail and corporate espionage aren’t great alternative strategies — it’s generally better to get canned than to get jailed.

But there are ways to you reduce your chances of getting targeted during the next round of layoffs. After all, every workplace has a few key players whose bosses believe the place couldn’t run without them — whether it’s the person who can run a finicky fax machine or the only staffer who maintains a good rapport with a difficult client. These people tend to be the same ones who avoid layoffs time and time again.

You can become one of them — without a lot of hard work but with a good dose of sucking up. Here are five other tips to follow…

Cashmere Toilet Paper, and Other Ways to Ignore the Recession

If obsessing about unemployment figures, market drops, and inflation rates hasn’t helped improve your financial situation over the past year, it might be time to try something else. Like, say, ignoring the recession entirely and pretending it doesn’t exist.

It’s not hard to do. With the swipe of a credit card and the purchase of a $2,500 Swarovski-embellished handbag, you can be right back where you were before the recession began—deep in debt and surrounded by shiny luxury goods.

After the jump, a round-up of our favorite ridiculous items and goods that might help take your mind off of the country’s financial crisis, at least until your next credit card statement arrives in the mail….

The New Normal: Jobs Barely Won

Remember the days when finding a job meant scrolling through an overflowing career board, submitting a dozen resumes, interviewing with a handful of employers, and accepting a job offer just a couple days later? Oh, how things have changed.

The average length of time it takes an unemployed person to find work these days sits at 30.2 weeks—an incredible 17.5 more weeks on average than it took a job hunter looking for work back in 2001. While you may find a job eventually, it probably isn’t going to fall into your lap like it may have in years’ past—just one of many “new norms” for job seekers that have been created by the recession.

After the jump, we have put together a roundup of five new norms for those searching for jobs, which you can either choose to embrace or ignore at your own peril….

A Romantic Meal, the Recession-Friendly Way

Oysters may be an aphrodisiac and truffles might seem romantic, but there’s nothing sexier than offering to cook your date a simple meal at home.

Especially on Valentine’s Day, when the hottest restaurants in town are all packed to the brim and serving predictable prix fixe menus, a candlelit dinner at your own table can be just what Cupid ordered.

Whether you’re looking to save money or show off your skills in the kitchen, we have put together a super-simple, recession-friendly Valentine’s menu that anyone can cook at home…

Stop Wallowing and Start Working–Volunteer Working

You’ve drowned in self-pity and drunk yourself into depression. Now as a victim of the recession it might be time to try doing something new and slightly more productive with your free time—like helping someone else as a volunteer.

After all, scouring online job boards and e-mailing potential business contacts can’t take up all of your spare time. And with more than 63 million people volunteering in the past year—almost 2 million more than the number who volunteered during the 2007/2008 period—there’s no telling who you’ll meet while helping out, or what that new contact could lead to. All in all, the experience could add a bullet point to your resume, and perhaps lead you to a job. Oh, and your efforts help those in need (besides yourself).

The trickiest part may be getting started. After the jump we’ve put together a roundup of a few of the many interesting websites and mobile applications devoted to helping people find projects in their local communities and beyond….

5 Ways to Stay Focused at Work

Forget the days of limitless overtime compensation and relaxing hours spent chit chatting with coworkers at the office.

Whereas in the pre-recession years, it may have been commonplace for employees to take extended lunches and bill their companies for the overtime hours it took to complete the day’s assignments, more and more cost-conscious companies are now shutting down requests for overtime compensation and laying off staff—effectively telling the employees who remain to get the same amount of work done with less help and in less time.

What’s an overworked office dweller to do? You could work more hours, even though you’re not getting paid. Refuse to do the extra work that’s been piling up, and risk getting fired. Or simply become more productive with the eight hours a day you’re in the office…

The Recession Killed the Gas Guzzler

There was no mistaking the recession’s influence at the Detroit Auto Show earlier this month. Although the crowds have returned since last year’s somber affair, the cars themselves were a far cry from the gas-guzzling behemoths that once covered the floor of the massive convention space.

Yes, it appears change is afoot in the auto industry. Blame it on the recession, the high gas prices, or the growing eco-consciousness of society, but this year’s show featured an endless stream of hybrid, electric, and generally eco-friendly cars with lower price points than before the economic collapse…

Instead of Ditching Your Day Job, You Could…

Feeling stuck in a job you hate? Get in line.

A recent survey of 5,000 households found that only 45 percent of Americans are satisfied with their jobs right now, the lowest level on record since the Conference Board research group began issuing the annual survey 22 years ago.

Why don’t these unhappy employees just leave if they’re so bummed out? It’s the economy, stupid. With unemployment levels at record highs, quitting a gig that pays the bills is not high on everyone’s list of comfortable risks…

Making Your Hometown Feel New

Why get out of Dodge when you can recreate Dodge? There are people you haven’t met, tourist traps you haven’t considered, road configurations you haven’t taken—and at the end of the day, it’s a fine place to live. And it’s up to you to make it so.

Since the start of the recession in 2007, Americans’ overall mobility—that is, the number of people who moved from one state to another—has dropped to its lowest levels since WWII, according to the Brookings Insitution. That’s because picking up and moving just isn’t as simple as it used to be. With unemployment rates still at record highs in many parts of the country and real estate troubles forcing homeowners to stay put while they wait to find a buyer, it’s hard for people to move to wherever it is that they want to be…