Happy Holidays! Here’s Your Pinkslip

“I’m sorry to have to do this but, as we’ve lost a third of our client base and assets have plummeted, we must reduce costs and have decided to let you go. We no longer need three of you in investor relations. I know you have been here the longest, but I think Girl #2 and Guy #3 have more room to grow in the company (read: there is no upward mobility and we expect that you will leave us before they do). We appreciate your contributions and want you to know that you can come to us for recommendations for future employers.