Spending and Saving

10 Sneaky Tips for Flying Fee-Free in Europe

If Dante were writing today, he would have designed the tenth circle of hell after the Pisa Airport.  While it’s often advertised as the “Florence” Airport by some European budget airlines, it’s actually about 50 miles away, waiting to punish you with outlandish excess baggage fees.

Europe has a number of airlines that offer if not luxurious travel, at least insanely cheap fares. Easyjet, Ryanair, and the lesser known copycats offer flights for as little as a few dollars. They don’t tell you that you’ll have to wake up at 3:00 am to catch a bus to some remote European town and wait in line for two hours before boarding something that resembles an aircraft. And they aren’t big on reminding you about the countless extra fees they can charge, especially for luggage.

I’ve learned the rules of frugal flying the hard way. I’ve been stranded on buses in Slovakia and had rough landings through flocks of birds in Lithuania. But if you’re crafty, prepared, and desperate for a European vacation, the experience can feel like a victory, especially after flying round-trip on $35.

1. Book Early and Often.

You have no idea in November if you’ll be able to fly to Switzerland in March. But chances are you won’t have anything to do that tops skiing in Swiss Alps. So book that $5 ticket from London in advance! After the mandatory credit card fee (the one you’ll never avoid) it could cost as little as $30 round-trip. Then start planning that aspiration vacation. If something comes up, you’ve only lost $22.  If you wait to book until the week before, you’ll definitely be staying home.

They’ll be so sick of your American cheeriness that they’ll forget to weigh your bag.

2. Read the Fine Print. Then Print the Fine Print.

There are many rules and regulations that accompany your cheap ticket. Some airports allow airport check-in; others don’t. U.S. citizens almost always have to arrive early to get their boarding passes stamped. Know the rules. Don’t assume anything.

3. Early Bird Gets the Seat

Pre-book the early bus and get to the airport.  If you miss your flight, you’ll be paying for a new one, which probably won’t leave that tiny Eastern European town you’re stranded in until the next day. So reserve the bus online: it saves money and guarantees your seat and safe arrival to the airport.

4. Use Diversionary Tactics

There are a million things airline employees have to check at a ticketing-counter: confirmation codes, passport numbers, baggage fees, baggage weight, destinations, security questions… they often  have no more than one minute per person to ask these questions. So take your time and fluster them. Lay your reading material, PDA and wallet on the counter (now your bag weighs less, which means lower fees) and take your time searching for your confirmation code and passport. Smile. Ask about buying a “priority boarding” card and then decline. They’ll be so sick of your American cheeriness that they’ll forget to weigh your bag.  Then make sure your bag looks smaller than it is by following step number 5.

5. Get on Board with the Duffle Bag.

Your oversized American lifestyle will not fit into the shrinking Ryanair bin that decides whether you’ll be paying $50 extra at check-in.  Do not under any circumstance carry a bright-colored, rolling carry-on case. They are not designed for the bin and will be checked — for a fee. Carry a duffle bag instead. It weighs less empty and molds to the bin when full.  Another perk of the duffle bag? You can frontload one side of it during the weighing process. If you lay the lighter side on the scale and continue to hold the strap, the bag will appear to weigh less.

6. Stall and Repack.

If forced to check your bag, start removing unnecessary items. Slowly. Then weigh the bag again. Everyone behind you will get mad at the employee, and he or she will let you through. If this doesn’t work, try number 7.

7. Carry-On, Wear-it-On.

There is no shame in wearing four belts, three jackets, ten neckties or necklaces and an overcoat in June. Wear your heaviest clothing on the plane. Stuff your pockets with your phone, camera, and other electronic devices. No pockets? Ladies, that’s what knee-high boots are for. Change into your summer dress and sandals once through security.

8. Hide.

Don’t believe the silly security recording that plays every five minutes.   Trust me, they will not destroy a shopping bag of clothes, shoes, or The Complete Works of Shakespeare if left in a dark corner at the Bratislava Airport. (Though it’s best not to leave the entire contents of your suitcase for obvious reasons.) Squirrel away the contents you canlive without, then pick them up after the bag is weighed. The guilty feeling will cease when Ryanair starts charging an in-flight bathroom fee.

9. Buy Duty-Free.

Budget airlines don’t serve drinks or food, but they do sell overpriced warm soda. After trudging through security, you’ll need a beverage and snack. Duty free food is always cheaper and better. Be sure to ask for two bags; put some of your carry-on materials in the second one, in case they weigh your bag again. They can’t weigh duty-free purchases.

10. Blend In.

As Americans, we have to make an effort not to stand out. Never stand at the front of the line — they’ll make you put your handbag in your suitcase or force you to dispose of your Starbucks cup. Keep your head down and blend in until you get on the plane, and you’re almost home free.

Tags: deals, Europe, Spending and Saving, travel