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Love in the Time of Layoff: Truisms from Our Time

Okay all you lovers out there, so what do you know about dating, living and loving in the recession? Budgets for lavish dates and gifts have shrunk; long-term plans for established relationships have been somewhat downsized; and we’re all perhaps a little more deliberate in our dating than we were in the boom times. Things have changed–not least in the way you appreciate your mate. Below, some of the new realities that have emerged in these tough times:

You don’t need to spend a lot to get a lot. In a guest post, “Funky Brown Chick” Twanna A. Hines wrote about getting laid without laying out too much for it. Try renting porn flicks, buy sex toys, and try mixing it up by getting out of town on the cheap.

There are countless options for romantic dates on a budget. You can blog together, start an art project together, take a hike, or try a house-swap getaway.

Budget-conscious is different from “cheap.” Opting for the subway instead of a cab may seem a little less smooth, but it’s not as bad as asking someone on a date and then not being able to afford it when the bill comes. “Those people aren’t going to get laid,” says Hattie Elliott, founder of Save the Date(ing), which hosts events for mingling and matching. The recession, she says, “doesn’t take away our expectations. Women still want to be wooed and have the door opened and taken to dinner.”

Don’t use the prospect of employment as a way to nab a mate. If the job doesn’t materialize, the budding relationship may become soured by that first broken promise.

Be careful what you say to your laid-off mate. Avoid: “Oh my god, what are we going to do?” “Why” and “Great, now I’m going to have to start working twice as hard.” Seven more don’t-say lines from Lemondrop.

Some people aren’t ready to say goodbye to the appeal of bankers. The Dating a Banker Anonymous girls, who obviously have a lot at stake in the dating-a-banker phenomenon, noted in a guest post that “supply deficit will only increase the demand because rich boyfriends are like luxury goods— the more rare they become the more they are coveted. This is going to snowball into a major finance guy dating deficit, rendering them more desirable than ever.”

Tags: dating, Love in the Time of Layoff, relationships, romance