Love in the Time of Layoff: Surviving a Split

by Laura Rich on July 16, 2009 in Lifestyle

broken heart 150Getting laid off by your boss is one thing, but downsized in your relationship? Often, that’s harder.

Jessica did not see it coming. According to the celebrity press, Ms. Simpson and Tony Romo had locked it down. He had won over her finicky dad and the rest of her posse. They ignored the hounding press and developed their own happy hideaway. But July 9, Romo called it quits, leaving Jessica “sad, mad, and confused.”

Getting dumped always sucks, no matter what else is going on in your life, or in the world. And recessions are no barrier against divorce and separation. Just ask Jon and Kate, or Amy Winehouse (well, not the best example), or Timothy Hutton, who is splitting with his wife of nine years.

So is it worse now? It may be—the usual strategies for picking yourself up off the floor might not be so relevant. It could be difficult to lose yourself in your work if the work itself is either non-present or shaky. Could you go shopping to make yourself feel better? Not necessarily. If you think of immediately rushing out to find new dates – well, that can be expensive, too, and you might not want to shell out for bars or online dating (however, online dating sites have actually seen record growth in the downturn as people turn to relationships).

The usual strategies for picking yourself up off the floor might not be so relevant right now.

But some tips for romance recovery are recession-proof. Consider the following from a range of sites that think about these things:

From Play it cool; take some responsibility; don’t play the victim; refocus your life.

From iVillage: Get it all out; focus on today; think positively; don’t stay bitter; don’t lose faith in people; have no fear; do something new; find some words of wisdom — and live by them.

From Don’t backtrack; ditch “dumper’s remorse”; forget about trying to stay “friends”; forget revenge.

From Yahoo Personals: Get back in the saddle; scream; make a list; do not call your ex; try retail therapy; run away; adopt a pet.

From Don’t take it personally; grieve; bury any evidence of your ex; pamper yourself; survive the first week.

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