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Love in the Time of Layoff: Is Recession Good for Sex?

According to an article in Forbes this week, the answer is yes. Writes Susan Adams, “Layoffs, furloughs and shrinking 401(k)s may not seem like natural aphrodisiacs, but according to experts in relationships and sex, the depressed financial picture is leading some couples—and singles—to better appreciate each other.”

I’m with the psychologist quoted in the article who notes that it’s way too early for empirical studies, that it takes years to compile a meaningful picture of how the downturn has affected intimacy. But just for fun, let’s apply the myriad hypotheses based on anecdotal evidence to the love lab of my relationship for a minute and see.

One psychologist quoted in the article suggests that more couples are turning off the television and turning to one another, leading to more sex. Meanwhile, our TV diet (24, Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol) seems to have steadily increased.

Another source in the article suggests that with so many Americans out of work or on furlough, there’s more time to exercise. Exercise boosts libido, leading to more sex. In our relationship, exercise has gone the way of dinners out. Marco quit the gym. I’ve been feeling gross and bloated, strung out on fertility hormones. Until this week, it’s been crappy outside. But hey, it’s not like Marco doesn’t get any exercise. The other day, he schlepped the 30-pound tote bag filled with change accumulated over the last few years to the bank six blocks away. “I came back with $300!” he said. Now, that was hot.

According to the article, fewer lavish vacations mean more affordable pastimes that stimulate bonding. And it’s true, we’re connecting more and more these days through quiet times together and talk. But here’s where this theory falls down: more talk can also mean more stress, particularly when that talk comes out in phrases like “how’s that portfolio coming along?” or “did you call your mother to thank her for the check?”

Our n of 2 may disprove some of these early-stage Forbes theories. But here’s what I know that’s true: In spite of the fact that my husband and I are both working at home and occasionally getting in each other’s way, we truly do enjoy each other’s company. Our richest and most rewarding interactions often come from just being in each other’s presence, laughing at the cat, reacting as one to the daily news. Everyday life has grown comfier somehow, because he’s part of it. Maybe the psychologists are onto something after all.

Deborah Siegel is the author of Sisterhood, Interrupted: From Radical Women to Grrls Gone Wild and creator of the group blog Girl w/Pen. Read more of her Love in the Time of Layoff columns here.

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Tags: Love in the Time of Layoff, relationships, sex