The Unemployed Life
The Just-Laid-Off Checklist
I used to complain that my parents never taught me how to negotiate for a pay raise. Turns out, that wasn’t my only knowledge gap—nobody told me how to navigate a pay elimination. I’m not just talking about what to do with the severance papers and your 401 (k), but how to feel like the world hasn’t been turned inside-out. So for all the rest of you, here’s my hard-won advice for the first hours, days, and weeks after a layoff.
Call the most sympathetic person in your life. This may or may not be your mother. Save anyone who is prone to freakouts for later in the day—or year. (My grandfather thinks it’s my fault I got laid off, which is one reason I’ve been “too busy” to visit.) Call the person who is going to listen, commiserate, stroke your ego, and think no less of you if you cry. That last part goes double if you’re a dude.
Turn off the lights. Or whatever will make you feel like you’re doing something—anything—to improve the situation. I called a friend in California the day the magazine I was planning to work for closed; as I told him my story, I walked around the apartment shutting off lights to save money. Difference to my wallet: none. Difference to my psyche: I felt slightly less terrible.
Hit the sofa. You’d be a moron or a robot if losing your job didn’t upset you. My early response to being laid off was to go into action mode, sending out emails about how everything was going to be fine, fine, fine. I hit a wall after about two weeks and collapsed onto the sofa, where I spent most of three days staring at the ceiling. My misery was compounded by the fear that I would never be able to motivate off the couch again. I did, of course—but only after I’d let myself wallow guilt-free for a little while.
Remember that it’s not you. More than 3.6 million Americans have lost their jobs in this downturn. It’s not because they’re lazy or stupid. (Just you. Just kidding.) Some of the most talented people I know have been laid off.
Start making lists–fun ones. Once you’ve done some grieving, start thinking possibility. What’s your dream job? What project have you wanted to take on for ages? What would you do with a little free time? (Besides look for a job.) This could be an opportunity for change and growth—plus, in this environment, we have to be creative. So write down everything that springs to mind, even if it’s far-fetched. Among the many things on my list were: spend a month in Paris, go to law school, finish an Olympic-length triathlon, play a lot of tennis, write a book, and open a shop. Oddly, “launch a website” was not on there.
Network. After you’ve been laid off, it’s tempting to crawl into a hole and not tell anyone what’s happened. But friends and colleagues are most sympathetic early on; take advantage of it. When they say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” reply: “Why yes, in fact, there is…” Then attach your resume, or at least ask them to buy drinks.
Look at your money. Unless you’ve saved aggressively, this part will probably suck. But ignoring your finances will only make things worse later on. So do a rough estimate of what you have, what you owe, and what you need to live on so you can start planning.
Sign up for unemployment. This will also suck, because it means admitting that you really don’t have a job. But you’ll want that $405 a week, and there is a short waiting period before you start receiving it. (Filing is not difficult, and every state I’ve checked allows you to do it online.) ADDENDUM: After posting I learned that $405 is what New York State pays a week–benefits vary from state to state. There is a great overview here.
Plan a trip. Sounds irresponsible, but it makes the transition to jobless far less painful. Schedule it for right after your last day at work, so you have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Use frequent flyer miles. Stay with friends a few hours away. Just get out of town, at least for a weekend.
And then you can start looking for a job.
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9 comments for “The Just-Laid-Off Checklist”
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I’d like to add another couple of tips to this great list:
1. Explore the possibility of freelancing with your former employer. They may need to reduce full-time headcount, but they also need to get the work done. You may end up making more money as a freelancer than as a full-timer.
2. Call your former coworkers. Don’t wait for them to call you. They may be worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you make the first call, you get to set the tone that’s upbeat and positive. You’ll be seeing these people throughout your career, so you might as well take control of the tone of the rest of your career as soon as you can haul yourself up off the sofa.
Martha Finney, author, Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss.
This is a really great list and I certainly agree with your last item (plan a trip). I not only planned a trip, but I started a travel blog, http://www.travelogged.com, too.
It’s so hard to travel when you have a job — we get so few vacation days and then even figuring out when to take them is stressful. Remember, it takes time and money to travel and at least right now you have the time!
If you absolutely can’t go away after you get laid off, then look for fun things to do in your city. Take advantage of your free weekdays to enjoy places that are packed on the weekends, like museums and movies.
I like this list.
I love being busy, challenged, interracting with people, and to me, that is the part that sucks about not having a job. I wake up with nothing to do, nowhere to go and no people to talk to.
To fill my days, I go to the gym, then try to focus on job searching. After that, I do something else productive until 5pm. I stop at that time as I would at work.
After 5pm and on weekends, I am in a better state of mind. I have the hardest time during times when I know that most people are working. I say most because everyone know in my city is working except me.
I have reached out to people, and it’s frankly embarrassing. These are people who saw me rise to the top. Not I have to beg even the people below me for help finding a job. I feel like the lowest of the low.
It also hits me when I think of blowing through my finances with nothing coming in. I pray, but I need a true miracle in the form of a very high paying job, or I fear that none of these survival methods will prevail.
I wake up aggravated that I woke up to another day, unemployed.
Thanks. I just lost my job and this really helped me to feel like it’s not so hopeless.
What happens when you’ve been unemployed for MONTHS, though? What do you do to feel better then?
Excellent hints and tips here!
It’s so good to see people looking for opportunities despite the circumstances…
No matter how long it goes on for (days, weeks, months) the recipe never changes…it’s right here in these great hints, though you could also phone your KITA friend (the one that Kicks you In The proverbial) to check that you’re still on track with doing something about your situation…not just getting more sorry for yourself)
Hang in there, and if your approach REALLY isn’t working then check the approach you’re using is the right one. Try a new way of finding a job – ask for support, get feedback. Keep moving forwards, don’t ever stop.
Kathryn Jackson, author of How to Keep Your Cool if You Lose Your Job (Longacre Press; 2009)
Great list. The only scary thing is networking. I’ll be frank, I don’t have hardly any friends. Not really. I mean, I’m married to a wonderful woman and have a kid and stuff, but I’ve long lost connection to old college classmates, friends, etc. How does one go about networking when you really have no friends?
BTW, just some background, I’m employed now but I was laid off/fired (same thing, really) twice in 2003. Traumatizing really, and I’ll never forget that. One thing I did that helped was diet and exercise and get in shape. That helped my mood a lot, and it helped during interviews (I’m guessing) given too many people are superficial and will hire/promote/etc based on outward appearances.
Hey FiredTwice–I think it’s time to MAKE friends! I wouldn’t think of networking as all that separate from developing friendships. Get in touch with people you used to know. Meet some new ones. Catch up. See what’s going on in their lives. Explain that you have a lot more time to re-form connections with old friends. Take them out for coffee.
You might also want to check out this story we ran a few months ago:
http://www.recessionwire.com/2009/08/24/networking-for-non-networkers/
I finished reading a book called Third World America written by Ariana Huffington of the Huffington Post. It doesn’t make the problem go away of being unemployed but it helps to understand the dynamics of the corporate world and how our economy is so volatile. I try to read anything I can to understand the pain of why I have been floundering and cannot keep a job. Not a victim here, but I wish my circumstances were better! I was let go a day after my birthday, the weekend before FEMA would have had to pay me holiday pay. Nice, eh? It’s been a very long, agonizing month. Learning people have been unemployed on average of six months and as long as two years drives me insane!