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Blago’s Guide to Getting Fired

Recessionwire salutes Blago for facing the firing squad with rare aplomb. After mounting a week-long PR campaign in which he teared up, praised himself, and flirted with the ladies on The View, he showed the Illinois legislature his middle finger by skipping his impeachment hearing.

Upon learning of his dismissal, did he admit defeat? He did not. Rod shook hands. He caressed kids. He congratulated himself for championing the poor. For having defended old people, children, parents, and women’s breasts. With a fresh burst of self-regard, he summed himself up as a simple guy who just wanted “real things for real people who don’t generally have a voice.” Really.

Acquiescence is not in this man’s vocabulary. “F@#king fire those guys” apparently is.

We’ve compiled a list of tips on getting fired, Blago-style.

• Fight “to the bitter end”
• Deny everything
• Cultivate complete narcissism
• Act as if you deserve a promotion
• Compare yourself to heroic figures
• Recite poetry
• Hint at conspiracy
• Skip all meetings

If none of this works, immediately start working on your memoirs.

Tags: News, politics, The Working World